I prayed for faith once.
I need to come to a place of utter brokenness to realize how high and deep and long and wide the love of the Lord is, and how much I actually do need to know that God exists, that he loves me, and that he has a plan for my life.
Sometimes I imagine my life being a line in the palm of his giant hand. He can see the end of the line, how it meanders across, and the other lines it bumps into. It's all right there in front of Him. If He truly has the world in His hands, how small we are compared to it and yet, he loves us more than the birds, more than the angels in heaven.
It seems Gods way of teaching me faith is leading me to some turbulent waters and asking me to cross. After thinking “ARE YOU CRAZY?!” I hear his still small voice, I close my eyes and take the first step.
Sometimes, at the very last minute, He grabs onto my hand and through His strength he allows me to make it through another day. Sometimes he scoops me up in His arms, and I have no idea how I made it to the other side. He will never leave me nor forsake me. When I feel like I’m about to be dropped, He will always catch me.
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
(Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV)