Being a single women, I've had my times of lonely panic; the nights when I can't pay my bills, or I'm frightened because some scary guy is hanging out my front door, my car broke down in a snow drift, I had a particularly awful day at work, or the Chinese delivery guy sent me a text message after he delivered my food to tell me I "looked very nice today." No matter how many people I try, no one is answering the phone. My best friend isn't answering, my closest friends aren't answering, my sister, my parents, my aunts, my grandmother. No one. And then you feel completely and utterly alone in this vastly ginormous world. That's when the panic sets in. You start to realize that you are not the priority of one single human being. There is absolutely no one to talk to you. Every one is too busy on a Monday night to pick up the phone.
And then I feel the still small voice of God. "Talk with me."
"But you won't talk back!" I reply.
"Talk with me." He says again.
I've come to realize that in the times I can't get a hold of anyone, God is pointing me to my last resort. Himself.
God is my last priority on my "people to call" list and He wants to be the first.
It's like being the person invited to come to your party because they overheard you talking to someone else about it.
I think of Brother Lawrence, joyfully banging about the kitchens with his Lord. Telling him every little detail of the day, as if they were best friends.
Oh to know God in such a way! To love Him so that he is first on your invitation list. Before you pick up the phone to call your best friend you first call the Lord.
At one point, I was in such a habit that I picked up my cell phone to call God. I got really frustrated with myself because I couldn't find his number in my contact list!!! I prayed.
Dear God, I don't know why your number isn't in my cell phone anymore!?
And then I laughed. Silly me.
I spoke with God for a bit and then I called my Dad.
"You'll never guess what I just did! I tried to call God on my cell phone!" I burst out laughing again.
I don't need a cell phone to call God. I have a direct line and the only contact I need is Jesus Christ.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV)
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