I'm always afraid of being "found out." I'm not qualified enough to begin a women's ministry. I'm not organized enough to be a good mom. I'm not strong enough...I'm not smart enough...I'm not skinny enough...I'm not... I'm not...
How much of our lives do we spend trying to hide our imperfections? We buy big houses to mask the fact that our families are broken. We put on layers of makeup and spend hours on our appearance to hide how insecure we actually feel. We make up excuses for our messy cars. Post only successes on our facebook walls and our blogs. Smile when we feel like crying. Say we're fine when our hearts have been torn to pieces.
So to be honest, I am not fine every day. Frequently I live from day to day, feeling like a complete failure and not wanting anyone to know it.
On Sunday, I introduced my idea of beginning a women's ministry to one of the elders at the church. I was sure he was going to deflect me, tell me that it had been tried before and it had failed.
But he didn't.
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Prov 16:3 NIV
One of my favorite lecturers, Bobbett Buster says "Face your fears, there your creativity lies."
If we commit our plans to the Lord, if we are seeking to do His will, it doesn't matter how many bible verses you have read, how charismatic you are, how sinful you have been in your past...your "I'm Not's" don't matter anymore.
I think of Moses, terrified to return to Egypt.
God will speak through you my friend. You will ALWAYS fall short of your calling. When you are called to do things greater than yourself, you can be sure that God is about to display His glory through you.
In the movie Prince Caspian, Aslan suggests that Caspian is a King of Narnia, Caspian responds " I do not think I'm ready." Aslan replies, "It's for that very reason, I know you are."
fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Find your freedom in that.