Single on a Sunday: Changing the Conversation on Singleness

by Graeme Weatherston

Today I'm so excited to introduce you to Jessica Bufkin!! She is guest posting for us from Single Roots. I just love how she reminds me to entrust the details of my life to the Lord and how to look at God's provision in each and everyone of our lives.


A former junior high English teacher, Jessica Bufkin currently serves as Editor for
SingleRoots, a website that encourages Christian singles to be intentional with their lives
and offers many resources to assist them, including a review of Christian dating sites and
a free eBook, “When Will I Get Married? (and 7 Other Questions that Plague Singles).”

Changing the Conversation on Singleness

by Jessica Bufkin

Can we all just stop for a minute? Stop with the hollow clichés about dating. Stop with
the far-reaching explanations of why we’re still single. Stop with the pep talks of how
we’ll find someone, some day.

I know it doesn’t fit the stereotype of the Christian single, but I’m not perpetually
sad about my unmarried state.

I don’t wake up every morning and reluctantly convince myself that today is going to be
a good day even though I don’t roll over and see the love of my life on the pillow next to
me.

And just because I’m not sad about my singleness doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be
married—because I do. It’s one of the deepest longings of my heart.

I guess having been single for longer than I ever thought I would be, I feel like I’ve heard
it all, from both sides. There are days when I get frustrated with people for acting as if
I’ve not fully arrived because I’m in my thirties and not married. But there are also days
I get frustrated with singles who believe those lies and allow them to steal their joy and
zest for living.

I don’t have life and singleness all figured out. I don’t. But can I just tell you, despite
what others think about poor, pitiful singles, there is not an undercurrent of sadness
beneath everything I do.

I wish we could change the singleness conversation from one of consolation to one of
celebration—and that people would really mean it.

Because I mean it when I say I have been immeasurably blessed.

Do you know how much traveling I’ve been able to do on a whim in the past decade?

Or how many times I’ve been able to meet needs for my family, at the drop of a hat, that
others with spouses and kids weren’t able to do?

Or how many times I’ve been able to take a spontaneous road trip to check on a friend
who I could sense wasn’t doing well spiritually?

Or the jobs I’ve been able to take because I was mobile?

Or how much I’m able to hang out with youth and college students and enter fully into
their stories because I don’t have someone waiting on me at home?

None of those things are consolation prizes! They are my life, and I have loved, loved,
loved every moment of it.

Sure, there are moments of wistfulness and hope and prayers that one day I will
know the love that is found in marriage.

And if that ever happens, I pray that I have lived this lot in my life, this singleness, so
fully that I am left with little regret of how it might have been lived differently. Like
everything I’ve been entrusted, I pray I bless the Lord with it and steward it well—
regardless of my marital status.

LORD, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!
I will bless the LORD who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the LORD is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
[Psalm 16:5-8]



Have you posted about singleness lately?

Link up with us this week and let's share the encouragement. Please be sure to read and comment on the persons link before yours so we can share the single luv.

Rules for Link Up:

1. You must be a single woman.

2. Please list the NAME of your post. 

3. Please visit the 2 people who posted before you and offer them some encouragement.
4. Attach my button or link back to this page at the end of your post.

Non-Single Ladies I love you too and I'm sure Jessica would love any and all encouragement and comments from you!